ok,i guess i have to write,this...
been trying to get myself to write since i posted the last blog,,,
but for some reason i cant,,,,,!!!!
not for not having any thoughts,but rather,a lot of things going through my head,,,
i felt i cant fit all as they came all jumbled up,reality and fantasy all coming together,,,
there was a point i had too many things i want to write down but far too much for it to be
comprehensible.....surprise,surprise haha
writers block lol
nothing much happenning at woork except the same headaches ,,,
came back froma week off to a very disorganized place!!!! (not surprising)
i felt i left for a bloody month!!!
cant believe lady boss did same mistake again!!!!
lised things i needed for my freezer/larder (a bunkbed can fit inside its a walk in)
i had the same one at the countryhouse we lived in in the southcoast hehe
so i knew how much and what i need all the time,,,but for some reason she keeps buying
what i dont need!!!!! @*!!?%**@@
and repeated everything i wanted from an old list so everything was a big mess :((((
children are home for the week because of the term break,blimey did me and nanny have our
job cut this week haha...
screaming,messing,unruly
but not with me and nanny,,,with their mother.. sad but true.
today,i had to tell lady boss to go and leave the children as they disrespect her a lot...
they cant seem to understand right from wrong when its their mother watching them and they are not
exactly young.
but when i am there or nanny or their dad they have to behave or else... ;))))
money money money,cant buy you happinness and this is a classic example...
anyway i ahve to get on with as i need to make sure all male boss clothes are ready,winter clothes ready and dinner always good ;))))
he is one person happy to see me!!
sorting the flats,as usual head aches no less...
make sure my son is concentrating on his drafts,,,and send me a copy on the net of his progress in uni ;)
he sketched columns and they were really good :)))
mr f still has some good days and some bad days :(((
sometimes i feel that its unfair what he is going through,i could never understand it,,,
all the pain he has to endure sometimes i wish i would have half of it to make him better :'(
infact i wont want anyone i love and care about to be in this kind of pain...
why this is happenning even specialist cant explain....
one day,even if all this turns out not the way i would have wanted,all i want is for him to be better...
spoke with mommy yesterday,its near all sould day in my country and i dreamnt of jp last week!!!
jp is my younger brother who passed away in 2009...
mommy never fully recovered from it...
if i write down all the sadness i have endured in my life it would be in epic proportions!!!
but life is for the living...
i dont want to look back,thats not where i am heading :)
but sometimes even me amazes myself on how people can get back on track after every single fall ...
cry,cry it all out then move from the tears :))))
daddy said a long time ago when i came calling and crying to him from smeoen in my past
who did a lot of hurt and came popping back,,,
dads word were very simple...
'i am not saying you should forget the pain he caused that made u a very strong person,but u can learn to forgive otherwise you wont get anywhere,,,'
well.all well that ends well...
so now i must concentrate on the now,,,
saw the riders again today and thought i should have done those riding lessons on the island ,,,
aside from all these,,,brain is occupied by sd :)))) (big smile)
wonder what he is up to? a lot of naughty things on his mind and cant wait to be with him xxxx
thinking of meeting ms w before they go back to granada,and going to salsa ...
i was looking through my tiny storage found my paint brushes and old canvasses,,,
i missed painting ..but i cant find my last painting from 2008...lost a lot from moving about.
its amazing how much past you collect with you and sometimes if you see them again it reminds you
of a lot of memorable things xxxx
mr f told me when we were living in the country,,,that has magnificent grounds,he said 'never forget
to paint'
i never have forgotten but never had the chance...one day,i will again i know... :)))
i wonder what everyone is doing for the halloween hmmm must make plans :))))
and make sure i will enjoy every moment of it xxxxx
